Breathing
by chivalrysdead
Summary: It's the breathing, in and out and in"


Title: Breathing  
Category: Faith/Dawn  
Rating: R  
Music: Counting Crows - Have You Seen Me Lately?  
AN: Secret Dawnie for Niu

It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in

It's all about the breathing. Breathing quickly in-between kisses where Dawn's sweet melon lip balm mingles with Faith's dark red lip gloss. It doesn't make a pretty colour but the taste feels so good on her lips that Dawn can't get enough. She has to remind herself to breathe. In. Out. In. Slow breathing when they're entangled in each other, whimpering and crying out. Then quick shallow breathing, Faith with wide dilated eyes and bucking hips. Dawn with clinging hands and screams. Afterwards it's all slow gasps as they try to catch their breath. Muttered words and vaguely tender caresses. And they sleep, still wrapped up in one another, breathing deep and even. Dawn doesn't know it but sometimes Faith watches her sleep and strokes back stray strands of long dark hair.

Dawn always tries to control her breathing. Pretend like this means less than it does. But she ends up screaming and breathing like it's her last breath. She's certain Faith isn't fooled. Still though, she tries to breathe slow because if she admits all that this means then she might not be able to breathe. Sometimes Faith wraps an arm around her back and pulls her tight against her and Dawn is certain she can't breathe.

It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in

Sometimes there are moments when their breathing matches up perfectly. In. Out. In. Out. In this slow steady rhythm. Dawn almost tells her in these moments but something seems to always hold her back. And, she always thought somebody would notice if she finally told Faith. Suddenly everyone would see what had been going on for months in a little New York apartment. Because that was where Faith lived these days and Dawn lived in NYC too and one night they'd happened to meet. Faith had been all smiles and laughter. Dawn couldn't help but be intrigued. Fascinated, infatuated, however you want to put it. Dawn had laughed too, blushed a lot. Somehow this had started.

Dawn just remembers eager lips, desperate hands and Faith almost stopping. Murmuring that Dawn was goddamn innocent and that maybe she shouldn't be here with her. But her breathing was hard and fast and Dawn brushed all her excuses aside. It seemed like they needed each other from then on. Need, or something. Whatever it was kept this going for months and it wasn't as though Dawn didn't want people to know. Or maybe it was. Dawn liked the warmth of lying under the sheets and listening to their breathing. She thought maybe the outside world would shatter this. Faith wasn't in any rush to share with the world either and so the months passed slowly and hazily. Months of muttered words, vaguely tender caresses and breathing quickly in-between lipstick kisses.

It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in

She makes her way home from classes slowly, it's late and dark but Dawn doesn't worry. There aren't many vampires around these days. She walks slowly through light rain up twisted iron steps to get to their front door, a flash of lipstick red barely registering with her. Faith will probably be sprawled lazily on the sofa in a tank top and shorts reading some trashy magazine, Dawn thinks with a grin as she opens the door. She frowns when Faith isn't, she thought she knew Faith pretty well by now. "Faith?" Dawn calls out.

She frowns again when there is no answer. All of a sudden she's seeing lipstick red again and Dawn is running to the door. She flings it open, rain meets her skin and a desperate wail rises in her throat as she sees the body.

It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in

Faith's mouth is open, still painted red and her skin is so pale. Her eyes are closed, lashes dark on pale, pale skin and a shoulder is bared. Dawn is choking on her breaths. She stumbles towards Faith, knees buckling under her so she's kneeling before her. Dawn's fingers slowly press against her neck. It's cold. It's cold and Dawn pushes Faith's soft hair aside to see the bite mark against her throat. Not many vampires around these days. But one was enough. One was enough to stop the breathing. And Faith's mouth is open, like she was breathing in and out and in and -

Dawn can't breathe either. Faith stopped. Dawn might just stop too. She just remembers eager lips, desperate hands, smiles, laughter and being held. She reaches out to stroke a stray strand of hair out of Faith's face, she remembers how she didn't even tell Faith. She starts to cry, not trying to control her breathing or pretend like this was less than it was anymore. _Was_. Not _is_ because Faith is suddenly past tense and that thought alone is enough to make her breath ragged.

It's the breathing, it's the breathing in and out and in

Dawn's knees hurt. The woman she loved is lying dead outside their apartment with dark red lipstick and cold skin. She thinks her knees might be bleeding from the little stones on the pavement. She thinks that their breathing isn't ever going to match up again. She doesn't even notice Faith's eyelashes lifting and Faith's eyes looking at hers. When she does, she is suddenly breathing. In and out and in and -

End.


End file.
